Boys Will Be Boys
by leiaah
Summary: I'm going to be sick!" Chouji dropped his crisp packet, hugging his stomach. "You're twisted Kiba-ttebayo," Naruto stated unfazed... What the hell did Kiba just tell them? Oneshot, crackfic. Rated T for language and mild sexual references.


**Title: **Boys Will Be Boys

**Style: **Oneshot, crackfic

**Characters:** The boys of the Konoha 12

* * *

Naruto, Sai, Lee, Neji, Chouji, Shikamaru, and Shino all sat in a circle, staring dumbfoundedly at Kiba who was standing in the middle of the room. Well, all of them stared apart from Shino, he had mentally detatched himself from the proceding.

"I want to make sure I'm not the only one thinks about this!" Kiba shouted, staring each of them down.

All eyes were on him. Not really knowing why they were here in the first place.

"Kiba. What do you want from us?" Neji asked clearly annoyed.

"I know! I know!" Kiba shaked his index-finger knowingly, "that I'm not the only one thinking about this, and we're gonna sit here all day till you ALL admit it!" Kiba finished and turned to Neji as if answering his question, in truth Neji was as annoyed and confused as when he was first called over.

A collective groan issued from the six boys, not including Shino. Shino just sat there arms folded, not really paying attention to the conversation, he'd heard it tonnes before when Kiba and himself had been together, and Kiba had been in that... particular mood.

"Kiba, stop being so troublesome, and just out with it, I have better things to be doing," Shikamaru stared out the window to look at the sky, some whisps of clouds were strewn across the sky.

"Like what, nothing?" Naruto asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Shikamaru just glared back in response. Kiba paced back to his place in the circle, and seated himself between Shino and Naruto.

"Here's the deal."

He looked around the room to check that he had their attention, all except Shino were looking at him. They didn't express particular interest to what he was going to say, but nonetheless their attention was directed at him.

"Ok, we're all guitly of being really horny at one point during the day or week or whatever, right?"

As if it was rehersed, all the boys' brows furrowed and their faces scrunched up. Chouji's hand stopped moving in his crisp packet. Shino and Sai just stared impassively.

"Have you guys ever thought of... you know," he winked.

Kiba saw that neither of them knew where he was getting at. Shino on the other hand breathed out slowly and bowed his head in ultimate shame, expecting the outburst to come.

"YOU KNOW! Make a clone of yourself! Tell that clone to _Henge_ into a fucking fit girl, and screw her senseless!" he slammed both fists on the floor.

"OH GOD!" Shikamaru and Lee shouted, holding their hands in front of their faces, as if shielding themselves from Kiba.

"I'm going to be sick!" Chouji dropped his crisp packet, hugging his stomach.

"You're twisted Kiba-ttebayo," Naruto stated unfazed.

Shino, sulked further into a corner, he really didn't want to be part of this. Sai sat there and scratched his left cheek, thinking over what Kiba had just said. Neji was red with embarrassment. Kiba's giant grin soon started to die out as he saw the reactions from his comrades. His brows furrowed in annoyance until his gaze fell on Neji, whom was a beautiful shade of beetroot. Kiba stood with ultimate abruptness and pointed fiercely at Neji.

"YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT!" Kiba accused.

"WHAT? NO!" Neji stood in his own defence holding a fist in the air, though his voice sounded panicky.

"Liar!" Kiba accused even further.

"SHUT UP, OR I'LL FUCKING SHUT OFF YOUR _TENKETSUS_ FOR LIFE!" Neji said activating his Byakugan.

The accusation and retaliation made the others stop the groans and moans, and all eyes settled onto Neji's red visage, with equal accusation on their face, mirroring Kiba's.

"What?" he turned to face them, with murderous intent in his eyes, and absolute threat in his voice.

Naruto being the bravest to answer back to Neji's killer intent said, "you're just as sick as Kiba-ttebayo."

Neji, de-activated his Byakugan, grunted under his breath, fell to the floor, sat cross-legged, and also crossed his arms. He threw his nose into the air, and ignored all the stares he'd been recieving. Kiba on the other hand was totally happy with this discovery, and gave his back to Neji to adress the rest.

"See! I'm not the only guilty one here. All of you, admit it, I won't let you leave."

"Kiba," Chouji said nauseously, "it's... it's... it's like doing it with yourself, that's disgusting."

"Hell no!" Kiba looked to his left at Chouji, "I'll prove it!"

"WHAT! PROVE IT? NO!" All of them screamed in complete horrified unison, they weren't the type to be watching a live sex scene.

"No you sick fucks! I mean..." Kiba sounded annoyed, he pointed a finger to Naruto, "Naruto, show them your new _Oiroke_."

Naruto grinned, he'd never pass up the chance to perform that jutsu, "ok," he stood up, "_Oiroke no Jutsu_!"

A puff of smoke engulfed Naruto, and it slowly dispersed reavealing a gloriously busty woman, bending away from them, looking over her shoulder, blowing a kiss in their direction, as her deriere faced them full-throttle.

Everyone sniffed heavily, and Kiba whiped his nose with the back of his hand. He turned away from Naruto's Oroike, and looked at the boys, they were hurriedly rubbing their noses from the blood. Except Shino, he was sitting in a corner, looking at a very interesting spec on the wall.

"See, you freaking idiots. You're all in denial. You're all as perverted as I am," he sat again in his spot, "see, I know that's Naruto, but I'd still tap that," he stated casually.

A puff sounded, and Naruto looked mortified, "I'M NEVER PERFORMING THAT JUTSU IN FRONT OF YOU AGAIN!" he scrambled on all fours, and shielded himself from Kiba, behind Lee.

"Hey! You made that jutsu to seduce guys! If you can't deal with the fucking consequences, then don't come up with a jutsu like that, idiot!"

"Troublesome... instead of being unbelievably disgusting, Kiba," Shikamaru hesitated to say _and Neji_, "you could've atleast thought about using a Substitution," Shikamaru said like it was the most obvious thing ever.

In response Neji bowed his head in shame. And Kiba's evil grin dissipated.

"Yeah, I'd do a chair if I could Substitute it with some foxy woman," Naruto shrugged and agreed.

Kiba sought the moment to further accuse someone.

"SO! YOU HYPOCRITE! YOU TOO, HAVE THOUGHT OF FUCKING SOMETHING OTHER THAN A HUMAN!"

Shikamaru went red, "I... what?"

Shino stood up abruptly, and made his way to the door, having had enough of the topic.

"Shino! We're not done yet!" Kiba barked.

"Yes, I know, but I am," he said monotoneously.

"Where are you going-attebayo?"

"Well, I unlike any of you, actually have a human to... enjoy myself with. See you later," Shino disappeared behind the door as it closed.

"HUH?" All of the boys shouted.

"That's the spirit, Shino!" Lee yelled after him, with fire in his eyes.

"Who the fuck is Shino doing?" All of them asked at each other in unison.

They all stared at each other questioningly, in silence. Naruto shuffled from behind Lee, and sat between Lee and Sai. Naruto looked at Sai, and continued to stare at the other boys who's faces were contorted in utter confusion. Naruto did a double-take on Sai and smiled mischievously.

He nudged the unsuspecting teen, "hey Sai, have you ever thought about drawing a woman, and making her come to life, and... you know," Naruto winked.

Sai's eyes widened, and a slight blush appeared on his pale cheeks. Everyone soon forgot about Shino and stared at the known-to-be impassive and unfeeling teen. Sai coughed twice, cleared his throat, his cheeks' colour was progressively getting darker as everyone in the room stared at him in disbelief. Sai scratched the side of his eye, and just smiled uncomfortably.

They were gaping, "..."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well... This idea came to me at 4am in the morning, just before I figured it was time to sleep. This is my _FIRST EVER_ attempt on crackfic, so please be nice! :D I hope it was as funny as I imagined it would be. Reviews are appreciated! Oh, and Shino's girlfriend. She can be whoever you want her to be.

**EDIT (07/06/2010):** Kind of late to edit this, but I recently read over it and saw how I kept repeating myself and such. So I tweaked it up, made it sound less stupid, and lalala. Main idea is still there, so woot :D I might come back and fix it again, but I dunno when, since it took me this long to make this minor edit, XD!


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